I talked to an ex of mine recently, named Sarah.  She had always been annoying, and I wished now in retrospect I hadn’t picked up the phone.  wtf

But, regretfully, I did.  And it opened up an opportunity for all sorts of toxicity from her to enter my life.

She was genuinely interested in getting together to catch up.  She then asked me if I dress fulltime and I told her we had gone over this already, as she asked the same question 8 months ago.

She said if we were going to be out in public, she would be worried if I was going to be scared, etc.  She packaged it as if she was caring and empathetic, when really, she was the one worried about being seen with me in case I wasn’t passable, etc.

She confirmed my hunches after following up immediately with the question: “I only ask because I know society still frowns on this type of behavior, so it’s important I get a clear answer from you.”

She then said: “So do you go to your job interviews in a skirt/business suit made for women nowadays?  Or do you still hop back and forth between genders like you used to?”

I told her, “What else would I wear to an interview, given my legal documents and resume say I’m me, a female, with my name, etc?”  The answer seemed so obvious.  But not to her.

Then she finished with an insult to all transgender people: “But why would you risk your professional career by presenting as something society still finds immoral or wrong?  Is it even legal for you to show up like that at an office or business?”

As if I am dressing and presenting as myself to deceive people.  As if this whole thing were a joke.  As if I’m trying to get a response out of people by acting like a clown.


I had no response.  I was stunned.  IMMORAL?  WRONG?  ILLEGAL?


She then immediately backpeddled when I was silent, subsequently pulling out all the excuses in her book, by saying she comes from a Catholic Filipino cultural upbringing and that being an open minded thinker is rare in her culture.



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